When I'm up twenty I always play like I'm down forty啥意思?“When I was talking about competition earlier, I should tell you, when I talk like that, that’s me not relaxing. When I’m up twenty I always play like I’m down forty.”“当我

When I'm up twenty I always play like I'm down forty啥意思?
“When I was talking about competition earlier, I should tell you, when I talk like that, that’s me not relaxing. When I’m up twenty I always play like I’m down forty.”
“当我在之前讲起竞争的时候,我应该告诉你,我讲那些事儿的时候,那是不放松的我.”
最后一句怎么翻译?

当我像在20岁的激愤时却常常表现出40岁的颓废!